I can get myself so beat up for not following things to the letter, while my heart is way out in left-field, doing whatever the hell it wants, and I could care less about getting myself back into the grace of God.
There is a place for structure, certainly.
But right now, in this moment in time (12:56 AM of the year 2012), I feel as though I just need to let go.
Let go of diets, and exercise, and that book I should probably read, and all the things I feel as though I need to accomplish.
Because that's just it: left to myself, I can accomplish nothing. I think that's why I've never been able to consistently uphold New Year's resolutions.
Over the course of 2011, God has shown me many things, and forced me to grow in ways that I was sure I didn't need. But a complete state of dependency, to the point of passiveness in where my life was headed, was reinforced with such a love for the Lord, His path for me, and the people He's directed into my life. I realized that if I concentrated on what I should concentrate on, the details would work themselves out.
here is my one and only New Year's resolution:
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and he will make straight your paths."
-Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)
Happy New Year, all!
Much love & peace to you.